How to be Eligible for a Happy and Long Lasting Marriage
As singles, one of your greatest aspirations or dreams is to tie the knot. You look forward to your wedding day with so much enthusiasm; the dress, the cake, the dance, the grandeur, and the gifts. The problem is that all these edibles won’t last; they will make you happy for that day but they will all outlive their use and get discarded. The only thing that should last is your marriage – the wedding won’t!
It is pertinent to note that anyone can be married but not anyone can build a happy and long-lasting marriage. Getting married is cheap, anyone can afford it but it takes a certain kind of person to build a marriage that is Happy and Long Lasting. Most of our parents stayed married but many can attest to the fact that they were miserable in their marriages. That further goes to stamp the idea that not everyone has the capacity to build a Happy and Long Lasting marriage.
Show me a failed or unhappy marriage and I will show you an ineligible spouse or couple. Bring me any failed and unhappy marriage right now and you will find one or all of these four things at the root of their problems –
- They are emotionally immature and have not discovered their emotional make-up (but have no clue that this is a problem).
- They are operating a negative pattern inherited from their parents or society (but are unaware).
- They have not discovered their unique gifts and awesomeness to the world and their spouse (but they think they have).
- They are unbendable, unteachable, stubborn, unyielding and never learning new things they can apply in life and their relationship (but they believe they are not).
The best time to become eligible for a Happy and Long Lasting marriage is not when you are married or even when you have a ring but when you are single. Your single days are the days when you check these four things. They are the days you go on a hunt for self-discovery, emotional mastery, negative pattern breaking and teachability practice. This is where you fail and rise again.
As a teenager, I said to myself, “I will not beat my children unnecessarily like I was being beaten and like I have seen around me” but I was daily beating the hell out of my nephews who were living with us. One day, I made that statement again and the Holyspirit said, “No, you will beat them”. I asked “Why” and he said “As long as you keep beating these ones, you will have no control over your own child as well. Use these ones as practice”. That was the day I started practicing self-restraint, correcting with words instead of using the stick and it was the day I began to train my emotions. The Holyspirit was teaching me how to become eligible for life and marriage.
Being a born-again Christian does not automatically confer on you the ability to build a happy relationship. You must gain mastery over these four things I have shared above. Without becoming eligible as a single, you are setting up yourself for unhappiness or a failed relationship.
Marriage can be likened to an organization that hires competent or incompetent staff. With competent staff, the organization increases in profit and blossoms but with incompetent staff, the organization loses money and consequently fails. You are the CEO of your marital organization and responsible for the eventual outcome: hire a wife or husband that is competent for the role and don’t forget to be competent yourself – it actually takes two to build a Happy and Long Lasting marriage.
Being eligible for marriage is a deliberate decision and action plan. It takes practice and the willingness to learn and unlearn. Prayer works, but faith without works is useless. Just as you have spent years building yourself and getting qualified for a good paying job or career, you need to consciously decide what kind of marriage you want and work towards becoming the eligible spouse that can make it happen.
Hey, my name is Gabriel and I’m in the business of making sure you don’t ever have to consider divorce or break up. However, I only like to do this for you before you get married because that’s when I can easily help you uninstall all the negative programming and operating system that is guaranteed to make your love life and marriage a hell hole.
I and my team use a system called E.P.A.T of The High-Value Partner Principle. We get you to become a certain type of person who can build a certain kind of life or marriage.
You can call me coach, expert, author, speaker, trainer or whatever you like. These are roles I fill at different times but they don’t define me.
I am simply a guy who is becoming the High-Value Partner and wants to help you do the same while we make God proud together.
For coaching, training or speaking engagements, send an email to email@example.com