Why Your Next Relationship May End like Your Last One [The Psychological Perspective]

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Why Your Next Relationship May End like Your Last One

You would be wrong to think I am cursing and wishing that something unpleasant happen to you. You would be so wrong to assume I am insensitive and don’t want you to experience bliss and sweetness in relationship or marriage. Let me break it down for you:


When you think about your love life, relationship, and marriage, what do you use as the decision-making guide? Often times, you use your past experiences. For instance, you remember that the last time you didn’t buy your ex a gift for his birthday even though you threw him a surprise party, all hell went loose. Now, you in a new relationship and intend to break the bank for a birthday gift.


Past experiences have been known to be the actual decision maker for many people in relationships and beyond. This is how people repeat patterns in their own lives without knowing. You treat Dele like David and got the Dele response from David even when you thought David was better.


Why did you accept for David in the first place when it was obvious that the same things that attracted you to Dele were the same things attracting you? Isn’t it obvious now that neither Dele nor David was the problem but you and your attraction forces?

In life, we base our thinking on past experiences and this is good for everyday life because we become efficient at a task when we use the benefit of hindsight. However, the very thing that makes us efficient with a task can be injurious to our relationships and marriages.


When you have had a negative past and experiences and you seek to make a fresh start, there are a few things you must bear in mind to avoid having your next relationship ending up like your last one. You need to pay attention to these things if you want a better experience in your marriage or love life than you have been getting before.


Break Your Current Pattern of Thinking


Your current pattern of thinking is gotten from your (or other people’s) past experiences which have been mostly negative. Every decision you will make tomorrow will be influenced by this and the result is almost predictable – negative. What you need to do is to assume the position of a newborn baby, with a blank mind and a vision of the tomorrow you desire.


Once you are clear about the type of love life, relationship or marriage you want to have, all you need is to determine what that level of life requires from you. How do people who have such marriages behave? How do people who have such partners act? What do people who experience bliss say and do to each other?

Forget the past, it can only do one thing – hold you back.


Embrace a New Family of Thinkers


It was Albert Einstein that defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.


Who were the people responsible for your failure in your last relationship? What were the habits and behaviors responsible for the negative results you have had in the past in life and relationships?


When you take cognizance of these two things: disempowering relationships and disempowering habits or activities, then, substitute them for the empowering ones. Find a new family of people and behaviors that are in sync with the new experiences, new life, and relationship that you desire.


May I inform you that psychologists have discovered that the above-stated reasons are responsible for repeated patterns of failures in relationship and life for many people.


So, you want a better and happier love life, bury your past experiences and create a new one for yourself.


Mr. Legend is a relationship expert who is passionate about the subject of Happy and Long-Lasting marriage. He believes that only the High-Value Partner can build such marriage.

He writes from Lagos and regularly shares his thoughts via http://olatunjilegend.com/blog and on IG: @OlatunjiLegend



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